Would you like a panda?

Well you're in luck. That's what we have for you here today. Bona fide, genuine pandas straight from wherever pandas come from. Don't worry, they're fair trade so your conscious is clear. Also comes with a free membership to the world wildlife foundation.

Place you're order online today and you'll get two free pallets of bamboo. Use it for food and make sure you plant some if you don't already have it growing. Remember, pandas are in limited supply so make sure you're taking care of your new panda.

Who are we?

We're the Personal Panda People. We source pandas directly from wherever the hell they come from for you. It's a small family run business operating out of Trump Tower New York. The "luxury apartments" are perfect for panda housing and are the preferred place to stay for most of our clients.

Contact

If you would like more information please give us your email.

* We'll only sell it to the highest bidders and those who say they have your best interests at heart (we believe them). Don't worry, we won't give your information to the government because they already have it.